I was watching a spoken word piece today, a secret favorite of mine. Some people don’t understand or appreciate why I enjoy things like that. They relate it to rap or aggression but the truth is I love the release. Before I was saved I lived with so much anger. My words completely fail me as I try to find words that can depict how heavy and dark the rage inside me consumed everything I was a part of, but it was heavy. I didn’t know God for myself at the time so my release was to write. Sometimes it was an extraordinary poem other times it was an erotic tale, a short story, a beautiful romance, but more often than not it was a spine chilling angry and dark release of the things that had been haunting me. I needed a time to sort through and put out was I was holding near and dear. When I received the Holy Ghost it was only then that I truly began to appreciate spoken word. I found several spoken word artist and fell in love with how they proclaimed the gospel of Jesus Christ. I love the tenacity and frankness of their words. My favorite artist is a man by the name of Clayton Jennings if you’ve heard of him you know how passionate he is about the things he does for God. It got me thinking; I want to be as adamant as him, I want to be as compelling as him, I want to be effective, relentless, confident, and vigilant like him. Not because he’s so great but because in my heart that’s how I want to be for God. For God I want to be a warrior, fully dressed in my armor. With love and truth dripping from my mouth each time I part my lips. With prayer being what sustains me; keeping my relationship strong, and building up those around me. I noticed then that I have let my guard down. I have the ability to be vicious, fervent, concrete, and unmovable; anger and fear have taught me how. Then the words of a mentor rang in my ears, “Do you think that God would chose you without knowing who you are and what you’re capable of?” I began to remember her explaining that I have learned so much in my past that can be useful to me now. God chooses strong people to have the most effective work, usually meaning great suffering. I can take what I know from anger and use it in love. I can proclaim I can face every day as war not in anger but in love. Sometimes it’s lonely, a lot of times people don’t understand why or how you do it. A lot of the times you have no support, but if I’m doing what I know is right and what I know God wants me to do there isn’t a soul on this earth who can move me. I have power over darkness, over sickness, over the enemy. It’s not about the good job, it’s not about school, it’s not about making ends meet. It’s about doing what God has put me here to do and that is one thing, one thing only that I have lost sight of. I’m here to love. To show my love in witness, worship, action, thought, all decisions. It doesn’t matter if the people follow me, like me, agree with me. I want to influence others on Gods behalf, there are some who want God and they will answer and gratification will be held for me in their hearts. But most of all God will completely cover me, protect me, and provide for me. So, now as I write this and I realize this I hope to have an effectual change of action. Not only do I hope to be more fervent but I admonish you to do the same. God is in search of an army of fit men and women who will sacrifice their lives for the sake of the cross. Is that you?
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Author's NoteWe go through good days, bad days, stress, pain, love, excitement, and failure everyday. No need to hide what we encounter!! Maybe you can get help from my experience or just simply know that you are not alone. Whatever the reason you are here please read along and give me your input! Archives
June 2015
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